Review by Woodrow Phoenix
The title of My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness serves several purposes, being a perfectly accurate statement of what the book is about, a reflection on the baggage around the word ‘lesbian’ and the associations that come with it. It will lead some readers to expect titillation, if not an outright sex romp, and others to wonder about how a single-sex relationship differs from a heterosexual one. Readers who have no idea what to expect will hope for a glimpse into another lifestyle. It’s inevitably a sensationalist title, and the cover art of the first edition accentuates that with the image of two naked young women on a bed. It’s composed so the breast of one them is the focal point of the cover with a nipple poking into the centre of the image, which makes this a tricky book to read on a bus or train. The cover art for the reprinted Special Edition addresses this slightly overstated design by replacing it with the author on a city street wearing everyday jeans, t-shirt, and backpack, with the same bewildered expression.
Kabi Nagata’s autobio manga is a straightforward account of her life as a repressed, confused and timid young woman, the only daughter of an outwardly unremarkable Japanese family. The story opens with the biggest moment of the entire book: a naked, nervous Kabi, sweating with embarrassment, curled up on a bed while another naked young woman looms toward her. The two-colour palette of black with pink highlights works to make the scene hot, funny and slightly oppressive as the solid colour of the second woman dominates the frame. It’s a classic, grab-your-attention, needle-scratch opening: “Here I am, twenty eight years old,” the first caption says, “I’ve never dated anyone, never had sex — and on top of that, never had a real job. … when it comes to anything sexual I’m about as experienced as a new-born. I’ve never kissed anyone.” So how did she end up in a love hotel in the middle of the day?
In lightly drawn, simple but expressive cartooning, Kabi Nagata’s coming-of-age tale relates how after school she meanders through life, trying desperately to find out where she fits in, having no success with understanding herself or what her purpose is. Her long-term depression and social anxiety comes out in eating disorders and self-cutting as she struggles with body image, she has no friends and a distorted fixation on her mother. Her only outlet is drawing manga. When she finally decides she needs more than one dead-end job after another and a sexless, genderless existence, she makes the phone call to an escort agency that changes everything…and gives her an experience to write about. There are lots of sad, even disturbing parts to this story that would be worth a trigger warning, but the slightly detached and ironic style makes it an easy read instead of the harrowing experience it could easily be in someone else’s hands.
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness has won several awards including a Harvey, and appeared in many ‘best-of’ lists. The two hard and softcover editions have identical features, the ‘special edition’ has an extra bonus chapter relating what happened next, but that chapter also appears in the reprint. The book really benefits from that extra sixth chapter, so check the contents page before buying.
